It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Life is so much better after having sex.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
