I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
