I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize