i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
