Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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