I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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