he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
