I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
