So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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