He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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