If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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