when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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