girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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