walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
