Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize