he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
