i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize