ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
