Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
