Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
