fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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