Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
