So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
