Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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