Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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