i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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