Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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