It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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