Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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