Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
