Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
