You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
