All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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