When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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