her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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