he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
