We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
