thus making me awesome and them whores
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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