Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
