I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
