i'm signing you up for texting rehab
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
