Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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