Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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