He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
