I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
