Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
