I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
