Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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