smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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