but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize