do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
