so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
