I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
