What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
