Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize