I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
