that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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