Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
