You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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