The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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