This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
