You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
