Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
