i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All I want is dick and wine.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
