It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
