I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
