This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
