All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
